Author Talks: The world’s longest study of adult development finds the key to happy living

Summary

Summarized wtih ChatGPT

The world’s longest study on adult development reveals important insights about living a happy life. It emphasizes the value of strong relationships and emotional well-being. Prioritizing connections with others is key to lasting happiness.

Key Takeaways:

1. Focus on nurturing personal relationships.
2. Invest time in emotional health and well-being.
3. Seek meaningful connections to enhance life satisfaction.

Highlights from Article

What is it that we found that really contributes to well-being? There were two big items over 85 years: one is taking care of our health. The part that surprised us was that the people who were happiest, who stayed healthiest as they grew old, and who lived the longest were the people who had the warmest connections with other people. In fact, good relationships were the strongest predictor of who was going to be happy and healthy as they grew old.

• Good relationships and good health predict happiness

The people who were happiest, who stayed healthiest as they grew old, and who lived the longest were the people who had the warmest connections with other people

• Good relationships make you healthier

badges of achievement don’t make people happy. We had people who were CEOs, who made lots of money, or who became famous. Those things did not relate to happiness.

We know that in the ’60s—and particularly in the ’70s and ’80s—much more information began to come out about the hazards of smoking, the hazards of alcohol and drug abuse, the hazards of obesity, and the importance of regular exercise. All of that began to come out, and we believe that more educated people got those messages and put those messages into practice sooner. That’s one of the reasons why we think privilege, and particularly education, conferred some longevity benefit.

If you don’t have people to help you weather the inevitable stresses that come along, the body stays in a low-level fight-or-flight mode, with higher levels of circulating stress hormones and higher levels of inflammation, and we know that those things gradually wear away many different body systems.

• Relationships help combat the stress experienced during the day

So, the first thing is to think about your relationship world, and think, “What am I getting? What do I have enough of? What would I like more of? And is there a way to strengthen some relationships I already have, or is there a way to make some new connections?”

Take out your phone, send them a text or an email, and say, “I was thinking of you, just wanted to say hello.” It’ll take you 15 seconds, and if you do that, you will be amazed at what comes back. Not every time, but if you did one of those every day, you would get lots and lots of positive response, including requests to have coffee or dinner, and people beginning to reinvigorate their connections with you—but it takes activity.

The reason I say that is that, particularly with social media, where we show each other these curated lives that are certainly not the whole truth of any life, it’s easy to watch these Instagram feeds, these curated lives, and say, “Well, everybody else seems to have life figured out, and I’m the only one who doesn’t. If I’m not happy all the time, then I’m not doing the right things.” People find love in their 70s and 80s, when they don’t expect to. I want to leave people with the fact that, at least from our data, if you think you know it’s too late for you, think again: you don’t know. What we find from studying thousands of lives—and we tell these stories in the book—is that no life is without twists and turns and challenges. That’s not the truth of life for anybody. The other thing I would say is that it’s never too late for these things to happen for you.

• We delude ourselves into thinking other people are always happy

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